I had to post a few pictures of my home growing up. Dad took these pictures last August. He was so proud of his work on the pond and the yard. This view of the pond is my favorite, for during my high school years the pond was my place of peace and refuge. I spent many a summer day simply laying on a blanket reading, swimming, tanning, or studying for tests (yes, I took college courses during the summer). I wish now I could simply run down to the pond and escape from things for a while. To say it mildly this has been an emotionally challenging week. But, regardless of the trials I am now facing each day, I still have a beautiful family to raise and try to focus on that.
Recently the kids have taken up rock climbing, with Christian and Aubrey immediately scaling to the top! Cameron on the other hand doesn't like to climb as much as he likes to simply fall from the rope when he's done. Oh well, either way they love the sport! Aubrey continues to amaze us with her ability to memorize, and I was so proud of her today when I saw her stand up in front of her class and recite a two page poem. Of course I smiled from ear to ear as the class started clapping and cheering for her when she finished.
The boys love preschool and so do I...I didn't know I could get so much done in two hours. They are making new friends and always have a great story to share. Cameron has become obsessed with reading, we have to read every sign, every word he sees on a cereal box or food item, and lately we have to read every word he sees on the credits of his movies. He keeps me on my toes. Christian is simply obsessed with the new baby...too bad that won't happen until October. At least he's excited!
Alan unfortunately has had to start layoffs at work. Not an enjoyable experience for anyone. The economic crunch has finally hit us out here, and we are all feeling it. We are both grateful to have jobs where we are free to work all we want.
I am finally starting to lose the morning sickness, and hopefully will not get a rebound here in a few months. I love being home with the kids and cannot express just how proud of them I am for the stregth they carry within. No doubt the strongest of spirits are being held back until today, and they are carrying me more than they know right now. It is because of them I am able to get out and get busy each day. It is because of them I can go to church with a smile on my face, and it is because of them I find reasons to laugh, smile, play and find simple joy in the smallest of moments. My heart aches, and I wonder how long it will be before I will wake up and one day realize that my heart literally does not hurt any longer. I know that the road ahead is not the road I ever imagined I would be traveling down. And yet I found a quote that helped me immensely, "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." Ralph Waldo Emerson
In many ways I am doing just this. I have to figure out where I want to go now, and although I don't know exactly where that is, I can figure it out slowly and carve out a path along the way. Someone else's road to recovery may not work out so well for me, and I have to remind myself that I do have the strength to find out what is best for me and my family. Keep the prayers coming, we sure do need them.